No, I am not just talking about the fact my hair looked good, so I needed to capture that in a photo. I am talking about the recent decisions I have been making that effect my family and my work, being a working mum you have to consider the balance on both sides. Recently there has been an equal balance of work and family, but nothing left for myself and so I had to do something.
A few weeks ago I came off the so called “treadmill” and couldn’t get back on. I needed a break. I felt like I was so miserable, constantly wanting to cry and just emotionally exhausted. Apart from the fact I am not feeling well, it had been a challenging six months and lots going on that I simply soaked up. I felt like a sponge and a full one at that, I needed to squeeze myself and get rid of all the water. I hope that makes sense! With all these feelings and emotions I took a week off work and basically slept, thought and slept. In between the school runs of course.
I thought a lot about what makes me feel the way I do, run down and all over the place. I am a working mum, so that doesn’t mean my day’s work starts and ends when I am in the office, it starts at 6:45am and usually ends around 11pm. In-between that time you have to make sure the children are sorted, the pets are sorted, you are sorted and get everyone where they need to be. Also, get to work on time! I am constantly being told that I do not stop, I am everywhere and I never take any time out for myself.
It was that last part that made me think hard. I do things for myself, I write my blog posts (when the kids are eating their tea or when I am lying in the bath), I watch box sets and movies, eat nice food with hubby but I don’t ever really get time for myself. With myself. The time that you can just do what you want, whether that be snooze or snuggle with the animals and a cup of tea, write some music or colour in. It’s that kind of thing that I need to encourage myself to do again. I love playing on the piano, writing music and being creative – and I haven’t been. The mojo has gone. I need it back.
So, I went back to work and asked if I could shuffle around my hours and I am really lucky that my employer is flexible. I do have to work longer days on the other days to make up for it but I am now the proud owner of Thursdays. The day for me. I will do what I want with it and I will make myself me again. Work can have me on the other days, the family can have me at the weekends (mornings and evenings too of course) but Thursdays are mine! Hands off…..
So far today, being the first of my Thursdays off, I have watched Call the Midwife with a hot cup of tea and a snuggle on the sofa. Then rearranged the furniture a little, bruised my arm when the bookcase tumbled to the floor and broke. Then I had to pretend to be my brother for a moment whilst I put the bookcase back together with hammer and nails, but I did it and it looks good where it is. We have a home for the books, somewhere to store all the stories and activity books the kiddies have. I think it makes the lounge look more “cottagey” too which is nice as that’s what I want.
I did a little more than I anticipated today, which was great. Took my mind off the looming hospital appointment next week, but that’s another story!