A very happy birthday to my first furbaby, Rambo. He is 13 today. I can’t believe he’s been in my life for 13 years, we’ve done so much and seen so many places. It’s gone so quickly.

He is so good, his temperament is just perfect. He’s not a yappy dog. He barks to mark his territory but that’s it. When the kids were toddlers, they would pull his fur out in clumps and he would just lay there. He cleans the other pets in the house and always makes sure the kids are safe at night time. It’s so cute. He’s such a loving, fatherly dog.

This little man is my follower at the moment; more so than normal. He follows me everywhere. If I’m on the loo, he will sit at the bathroom door staring at me. When I’m in the bath, he pushes the door open and sits next to me and stares. Right now, he’s currently snuggling under the duvet.

Let’s hope we can go and explore somewhere new in the summer, with amazing views and miles of countryside. Our favourite.

Thanks for all the adventures Rambo 🐾 and the snuggles! We love you lots.

A very happy birthday to...

I wonder what is going through their tiny minds right now? Do you think they consider things like we do? Do you think they #dream of what’s going on? The kids seem to be taking it all in their stride and albeit they are sad they can’t see their friends, they seem to be just getting on with it.

Whereas, I go through waves of different feelings. I’ve discovered I’m at my best when I just take each day as it comes. When I start to think about things globally, or the time period of lockdowns and when the kids are going back to school... that’s when I start to feel worried and glum.

I worry that my employer will soon say “sorry Sonia we’re not paying you anymore as you’re homeschooling”, or the worry that I’m not teaching my kids correctly and they’re missing too much of their education. Or the impact of isolation on the kiddies at this age, making friendships and building rapport with people.

I hope these are worries over nothing. And I know all of the kiddies in the world are in the same boat. But, as a parent you can’t help but worry.

So for now I’m trying not to think negatively. Trying not to think more than 1 day ahead (except maybe planning Easter Sunday dinner) and I’m trying to keep smiling. So my babies keep smiling.

Keep calm and carry on. Isn’t that the saying!

#mummyphotoaday

I wonder what is going...

This afternoons activity with Daddy looked like lots of fun: they gathered sticks and the kiddies built their own pile of firewood for a camp fire. They then sat around the fire pit to test whose camp fire would flame up the best!

Isla created a very structured camp fire, logical and a pattern to where she placed her sticks. Noahs looked more sporadic but covered a wider area.

Neither camp fires took fire, it was quite windy. So the kiddies enjoyed a hot chocolate and marshmallow around their piles of sticks.

They had fun though and that’s the main thing. I’m loving all of these practical tasks they’re doing with Daddy.

I’ve been waiting, all day, for someone to tell me it’s all a dream and we are still going to Dubai. But, unfortunately, no one jumped out screaming April #fool and alas, we are still at home. I’m gutted.

Lots to look forward to though and right now it’s about focussing on our main objective: stay at home at all times, unless to buy essential food & walk the dogs! I have actually loved being at home everyday. It’s my favourite place.

#mummyphotoaday

This afternoons activity with Daddy...

“We are very excited to try out this new food from Forthglade, it smells woofing delicious” 🐾 Straight from the doggies mouth!

I am very excited to announce that I am a new ambassador for @forthglade. What does that mean? Well, I get to try out the products and tell you all how good they are and get special offers and discounts for my followers too!

It’s such a strange time with lockdown, however finding out about Forthglade couldn’t have come at a better time. When I went to get our usual dog foods in the supermarket it had all sold out. So, resorting to online orders seemed a very natural thing to do to ensure our furbabies are fed.

This food is a minimum of 75% meat or fish and is free from junk. With Snoopy, he has a tummy condition which means we have to be careful what he eats, it’s perfect. We will keep you posted on what they thought! 🐾 #gifted

“We are very excited to...

🌼 April is here and along with it comes another set of photo keywords for #MummyPhotoADay photo challenge.

We should have been flying to Dubai today, so my insta squares would have been very different to what they now will be. I’m expecting to see lots of Spring colours and stay at home families instead this month.

Don’t forget to use the hashtag #mummyphotoaday so I can comment and share my favourites throughout the month.

Does anyone have any creative stay at home plans for April?

🌼 April is here and...

My favourite pics from March #MummyPhotoADay - a massive thank you to everyone that took part. We have had a lot of new members this month and it’s been really hard picking my favourite 9! There are now over 4,000 photos to choose from.

All photos are tagged, but from left right:
📷 @cultivatingdelight
📷 @newmummyblog
📷 @confessionsofacrummymummy
📷 @houseofbaughs
📷 @sahrazade
📷 @otisandus.blog
📷 @_lisaslife_
📷 @socalshopgirl384
📷 @descendants_of_war

I’ve really loved seeing photos from @anywaytostayathome, @the_mummy_editorial, @freyalexandra, @becsbrewtifullife & @canonjacq.

All you have to do to join in is add #mummyphotoaday to your caption and the keyword of the day... I’m very excited to see what April has in store for us. Lots of fun “Stay at #Home” themed photos!

Thank you to everyone that joins in 📷

My favourite pics from March...

The kiddies had a lot of fun playing in the bath today. Swimming pools are closed, it’s too cold to get outside in a paddling pool so we put our swimming costumes on and pretended!

The kids had loads of fun making sparkly bath water and foaming soap shapes with @kidsstuffcrazy products. It’s amazing how fun products like this can keep the kiddies entertained for hours.

They literally played in the bath for an hour. The water had gone cold by the time they got out. It was the perfect indoor fun activity, especially as it was wet outside today.

If you’re homeschooling and self isolating with young children why not make a fun bath and invite the kids to make a mess with whatever you have in the bathroom! We also tried to make our own bubble bath using washing up liquid and #citrus juice - it wasn’t a nice smell 😂 the kiddies will try again in the week.

You can get the Magical Sparkle bubble bath and Foaming Soap from Kids Stuff Crazy at @superdrug - check out my review on the blog. #linkinbio

#mummyphotoaday 🧼

The kiddies had a lot...

Today has been a busy day, but nice and chilled at the same time. We let the kiddies have iPad and Xbox time this morning; our homeschool doesn’t give out homework! They built some cool stuff in Minecraft and worked together. Which was nice to see.

After lunch we took a longer walk than in the week, across the river. This is a walking route that is direct from our doorstep and took us 90 minutes in total, part of our one exercise a day under lockdown rules. It was nice to get some fresh air and just talk about whatever comes into our heads. We spoke about a lot of random things. 7 & 9 year olds do come out with some funny comments. Noahs favourites are “would you rathers”. We got home and Daddy made a delicious roast dinner and I did a deep #clean in the bathroom. Then had a long hot bath!

No rush for any of these things as we seemingly have about 12 weeks of working at home and possibly months of homeschooling. I just hope we can have family over soon as we miss them all.

#mummyphotoaday

Today has been a busy...

A mothers guilt

I have been reading a few blog posts over the weeks about the coming September and the new task that some of us Mum’s have had to complete, the filling in of the school applications. Yes, little Noah will be starting school in September and some of these heart felt posts have confirmed that I am not the only one who has been feeling guilty. A mothers guilt.

R-P_64154 - Copy

What do I mean?

The guilt that I work full time and do not watch my babies grow up each day.

The guilt that I do not get to play game with them every day and play with their new toys and watch them smile and learn.

The guilt that I feel when I get to work and I think I wonder what they are doing today. I wonder if they are missing me.

The guilt I feel when I see and hear other Mum’s are out with their children, enjoying the day of snow or meeting up for those coffee mornings that I used to do when the little ones were babies.

The guilt I feel when I am eating my lunch and I am not eating my lunch with them.

The guilt I feel when I am sat at my desk and I think, why? Why am I not spending my day with my children? Questioning the very reasons why I am working full time. Questioning everything in regards to those prescious little people.


I think most of all, the guilt that I know I will feel in September is what is worrying me most. When Noah trots off to school. The emotion I know I will feel and the almost certain regret that I didn’t spend more time with him in his first years. I cannot change it, these are the decisions I made. These are the paths we chose. All I can do is make sure he is happy.

It does break my heart to think Noah will be going to school in September and I will not be able to enjoy his company every day, as he will be going to school. But I suppose I do not now, so what difference should it make? It is almost like a when I won’t be able to, will I want to more situation. It will be too late to change any working patterns and spend more time at home. But I have my reasons for working full time and that is to make their lives in the future better, a mortgage, our own home. Somewhere that we can call our own and make it just right. Sometimes I do wonder if it is worth all that I am going through. The long days, the travelling all over the place, the stress bouncing from work to home and to work again, the tiredness, the guilt and the missing my babies so much it hurts.

noahkiss

Don’t get me wrong, I know he hasn’t had a bad four years. He spends two days a week with his Nanny, who he loves very much, he learns and plays new things and see’s different members of the family and gets to scoot around the park and eat all Nanny’s yoghurts – his favourite thing on a Friday morning. That makes me feel happy, knowing that they are with family. People they love. Once a week he spends time with his Great Grandma, and either his Nanna or Mummy keeping a close eye on them from afar. But those two days a week that he goes to nursery and he has awfully long days, those are the days I feel especially guilty. At least that will not be the case in September. He will be coming home after school and having tea. I will spend more time with him then and Isla too of course. A new routine. A new life. And hopefully one I will not feel guilty of.

I suppose I just have to keep reminded myself of that, September isn’t something to feel guilty about, or look back and feel guilty. It’s a new chapter. A new routine. A chance to make it better and learn from what didn’t make us happy.

I still can’t believe he is going to school…

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11 Comments
  • teacuptoria
    February 6, 2015

    Hi Sonia, Lovely to come over to your blog for the first time! Ahh the old guilt issue, isn’t it horrid! Why us mothers have this guilt complex I just don’t know. We give as much as we can and sounds like you do that for your kids. At the end of the day they are their own little people and have to learn to develop independence and once they taste this, they love it. So we’ve actually not got any reason to feel guilty at all! Lovely post. Tor xx

    • MummyConstant
      February 6, 2015

      Thank you Tor and so lovely to meet you.

      Yes you are right, I hadnt thought of it like that. 🙂 They do love their independence. Especially Isla. So thank you for reminding me about this.

      Love your blog. Women drivers rule 😉 x

  • When my son started school last September I felt this feeling that you had. But it all went away when I saw how happy he is and how he is learning. You will be amaze of the development that you child will go through and I suggest you watch closely as its going to be fast =)

    Goodness I hope I am making some sense. #pocolo

  • Monica Gilbert
    February 7, 2015

    If you weren’t working, you’d probably feel guilty about not contributing to the family financially. I know I’ve felt that way. I’m about to start a job at a nursery (that my 2 year old will be attending), and I’m feeling guilty that the change might be hard on her. No matter what, guilt seems to be a given for moms. You just have to do the best with the time you have and remind yourself of how your choices benefit the family. (I’ll keep trying to do the same.)

  • Verily Victoria Vocalises
    February 7, 2015

    I hear you! I listened to a talk from Davina McCall once and she made such a great point about this – that Mum’s feel guilt because they care and because it means they are a good mum. I think I agree with her. I love that first photo – beautiful. Thank you for linking to #PoCoLo 🙂 x

  • Both my parents worked and I am sure they felt like this too, but I didn’t suffer because of it. I grew up being a very happy and independent kid!

  • Sarah @tamingtwins
    February 9, 2015

    Don’t be too hard on yourself, it takes all types of Mums to make the world go round and working Mums are inspiring their kids to be strong, hard-working providers through example. GO YOU!

  • Donna @ Little Lilypad Co
    February 9, 2015

    Great post and it will hit a nerve with many of us mums.

    I work from home and still feel the guilt. I am constantly juggling work and a toddler and I worry that she has started using the phrase “give me a minute” ….. I can hear myself in her words.

    I have another year until I have those school decisions, I just need to figure out how to shift the balance. Any suggestions??? 🙂

  • SouthwarkBelle
    February 9, 2015

    I think guilt is sadly inevitable for mums, if you work full time you worry about not seeing enough of your kids, if you stay at home there is the guilt of not contributing financially and if (like me) you work time time then there is the guilt that you aren’t doing anything, work or home, properly! We really can’t win can we!

  • Ghostwriter Mummy
    February 9, 2015

    Oh I hate mummy guilt. I do work, but from home and although I do get to eat lunch with them there is no less guilt. Whatever we feel we don’t get right we feel guilty about. And now that my 10 year old thinks I don’t work and therefore mums don’t work, I feel the guilt that I don’t go out to work. Arrgh! We can’t win. I think as long as we make the most of the time we have with them then we should congratulate ourselves on a job well done x x x x

  • Katie @mummydaddyme
    February 15, 2015

    I generally think as a parent you feel guilty whatever. I can completely understand what you are saying in this post lovely and I have no doubt that I would feel the same. I can imagine working full time does make you feel guilty when it absolutely SHOULDN’T- you are contributing to your family, you are providing your children with a great work ethic and you are showing them so many good things. I work part time but because it’s freelance I always feel SO guilty that I am never fully switched off- I go on my computer sometimes when I shouldn’t etc. I think we are just programmed to feel guilty- when we shouldn’t, whatever our situation is. Sending you lots of hugs. xx

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Thursday 5 February 2015
A mothers guilt

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