Please tell me I am not the only parent to constantly repeat this sentence? It is a whirring cycle of “play nicely” and then “destroy eachother” – repeat until bedtime. Why can’t they just play nicely all of the time? It makes you feel quite drained by the end of the week. Literally, all of our lovely moments are followed by the children fighting.
I have tried everything I can think of to stop the bickering but it hasn’t stopped. They don’t hurt each other quite as much as they did: not so much biting and pinching. But they squabble and sqwark at each other at least once an hour.
They could be playing lovely with the hot wheels one minute. Then you hear Noah shouting at Isla or one of them crying. It’s usually based around sharing of toys too. Noah has 299 hot wheels, yet that one car Isla picks up takes him over the edge. Why?
Daddy and I even tried the tactic of showing them what they are like. We shouted at each other, quite loudly, arguing over Daddy’s cars. It worked for a moment. They thought it was hilarious but agreed that we sounded silly. But it didn’t last long.
It got so much for me that I ended up discussing their behaviour with the teachers. They are not like it at all at school! It’s like they’re are different people. The teachers gave me some pointers & words to use with the children. Like “unkind”. One idea was to create a chart and offer rewards for the good behaviour. I’m trying not to reward the bad behaviour, even giving attention to the children when they’re naughty is a reward in some respects.
We did try a sticker/reward chart for a few weeks and that seemed to help. I’m not sure why we stopped it but I’ve resurrected it. Fingers crossed it helps again. I’m fed up of shouting. Fed up of crying because I think I’m a useless mother who can’t control her children. It’s hard. Hard to know what’s right and best. When they are nice to each other it is amazing, it melts your heart. We are lucky to capture some lovely moments between them on camera. Evidence that they can do it! I just need to crack the bickering…
If you have any wonderful tips please comment below. I would love to hear them.
Sarah Mumofthree WoRld
Wednesday, July 13, 2016I wish i did have some tips! I had to read because my kids are just as bad – anD they’re 15, 12 and 10! It’s nearly all pure nastiness on the part of my eldest, who picks on his siblings for no reason, then they react to it. I remember talking to the sChool about him in y1 and they were gobsmacked that such a lovely boy could behave so badly at home!
Good luck with the reward charts!
MummyConstant
Wednesday, July 13, 2016Hehe thanks Sarah. Don’t worry if you don’t have any tips although your comment is really helpful. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. I had that same reaction with school too haha X
msedollyp
Wednesday, July 13, 2016First of all you are not a bad mummy!
I too am reduced to tears with the bickering and weekends can be exhausting! mine are 5 and 7 and also fight over the stupidest of things. I find distraction helps,finding something for one of them to do,say helping me, or getting different toys out. Wish I had a better answer!!
MummyConstant
Wednesday, July 13, 2016Ah thanks so much. I appreciate it. Don’t worry about not having a better answer. It’s great. At least I’m not alone π I will try and use distraction more X
Kim Carberry
Wednesday, July 13, 2016my girls are 8 & 13 and they fight like cat and dog…The bickering is unreal. A few weeks ago they argued and I separated them….Then I was the bad one because I had kept them apart…lol
Don’t think you are a useless mother….I think everyone with more than one child has trouble with them fighting at some point.
Good luck with the reward charts x
MummyConstant
Wednesday, July 13, 2016Thanks Kim. I’ll give the rewards another go and then try distractions and separation more π X
Christina bennett
Thursday, July 14, 2016I wish that i could tell you that things get easier as they get older, but sadly no π I thought we wouldn’t experience this as my step son is 10 and my little one is nearly 3. I (stupidly) thought that with him being older that he would play nicely with his sister. But no. I feel like i spend 99% of my time when we have him telling him off for winding her up π she plays so nicely with other children, yet he winds her up (and i’ve SECretly WATCHEd him do it just to make sure it wasn’t her just acting up). He’ll do something to wind her up, and i’ve even witnessed him chuckling afterwards when she’s kicked off. so now he gets into trouble for it. i can’t cope with her screaming and hitting him constantly because he’s winding her up.
just for once i would like a nice and peaceful house!
MummyConstant
Friday, July 15, 2016Its actually a comfort to know I am not alone in this world of bickering and fighting. Not so comforting to know that it doesnt get any easier but at least we can fathom up ways of dealing with it. I cannot understand it either how they can play so nicely with other children, especially at school, then as soon as they are home its bicker bicker bicker! π
I too hate the screaming, but sometimes they do do it for effect. I will have to put some sneaky mirrors up so I can see them when I am in the kitchen etc.
Thank you for your comment xx