After the love has gone: how to transition from ‘we’ to ‘me’

There’s no golden rule for getting over a breakup, once that love has gone. If there were, then there would be many an unwritten song, and we wouldn’t all have to give our commiserations as soon as we learn that our good friends have decided to call it a day. In fact, breaking up can cause so much stress, it almost feels like our heart is actually breaking a little bit (aw!). I seem to see a lot of people around me going through this, more and more as I get older. And while there might be not a magic bullet, there are tips you can take to make it as smooth as possible. Here are a few to get your started: 

Talking it Through

A lot of good can come from doing one of the simplest things all humans do: communicating! To be able to move on smoothly, you need to have a sense of closure, to know that the door has closed on the past. This is especially relevant if you were once married to the person you’re now leaving. It won’t just help in the short term, either: moving forward, everything will run a lot more straightforward if you’re on good terms and can talk to one another without resorting to shouting and name-calling.

Dividing Belongings and Money Matters

Of course, if you’ve built a life together, then you’ll have accrued money and belongings – and, to an extent, friends – that will need to be divided up. This, naturally, can easily go astray, especially if you both feel you’re entitled to the home or a greater share of the assets. As such, it’s best to let professionals like Austin Kemp Divorce Solicitors take care of those details. Trying to figure it out yourself would be too complicated, and you may even mistakenly give away too much of what you’re entitled to because you’re feeling emotional.

When There Are Kids Involved

It’s bad enough breaking up when there are only two people involved; it can outright terrible if there are children involved. Before you break up, make sure you and your partner have a strategy for how you’ll tell and manage the children. When it comes to youngsters, you need to put aside your differences and focus on what’s best for them. They won’t have the experience to deal with it on their own; how you manage them will be the most crucial factor when it comes to their moving forward.

Looking to the Future

It’s always scary when you suddenly realise that you’re no longer part of a couple. That love has gone! You’re on your own now, and how you move forward will affect how your life is moving forward. Instead of letting this overwhelm you, embrace it: you have the chance to become whoever it is you want to be. To begin, make sure you’re taking care of yourself: and that means eating well, getting exercise, and staying social. Then, instead of seeing yourself as just on your own, think of all the freedom you’ve suddenly been given. This is your chance to turn over a new leaf and do something spectacular: seise the opportunity, and good things will come.

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