We’d all love for parenting to be easy. But, eventually, conflict enters the picture and every day can be a struggle. As parents, we’d love for our kids to pull their weight. But, unfortunately they can get into bad habits. And that’s what leads to arguments. Creating an alliance with your kids is a tough one to master, but it is the solution.
You’ll often notice that some families seem to operate harmoniously, with each person playing their part. Everyone aligns with everyone else, and the family develops into a natural, productive and stress-free team.
To people who haven’t experienced it, it sounds impossible. But it’s actually achievable using some pretty basic tactics. Here’s what to do.
When it comes to parenting, the principle of “not forcing” is absolutely essential. If you attempt to control your kids or get them to do things that they don’t want to do, then you’ll always struggle.
That’s because children have a will and a mind of their own. If you threaten that in any way, they’ll push back, leading to escalation.
The trick here is to bring them into your team. You never tell them what to do. Instead, you lead by example.
You can also just ask them for help. Sometimes, you need a hand with something and kids are often more than willing to lend their assistance. It all depends on how you ask. Just demanding that they obey is a recipe for disaster.
Give Them Ownership
Here’s another thing that parents do to create alliances with their kids: give them ownership. You can think of ownership as being similar to responsibility. It’s a way of giving your child authority and control over their environment.
For example, you might give your child responsibility over something they enjoy, like the garden or cooking. Whatever it is, make it their job to sort it out. When you do this, you’ll notice that they naturally slip into their role and you don’t have to nag them all the time. If they don’t stick with it, just be inventive and come up with something else.
Teach Them About Teamwork
As kids grow up, they’ll need to learn about teamwork. But what can you do as a parent to help this process along?
Getting mommy and me shirts is a great place to start. This way, you and your child can wear a similar “uniform” and, therefore, look like you’re batting for the same side.
You can also work together with other people in your family, including your child’s siblings, your partner or your parents. By doing this, you can mould their personalities and become more in-tune with each other. When they feel like the family is a team working towards a better life, they’ll naturally start making decisions that work in your favour.
Creating an alliance with your kids can sometimes be a little challenging. But once you are successful, it makes family life infinitely easier. All of a sudden everything starts to fall into place and you feel like the whole project is overwhelmingly positive.