Having a baby changes your body. We all know that, of course, but I don’t think you can really appreciate how much it can change until you’ve been through it yourself.
When you’re pregnant, there is so much information about what your body is doing as your baby grows. Then your baby arrives and suddenly most of the advice is about feeding, sleeping, nappies and everything your newborn needs. What happens to your body afterwards can sometimes feel like an afterthought.
And then there is that phrase: “bouncing back”.
I’ve never particularly liked it. Our bodies don’t need to bounce anywhere. Pregnancy and childbirth are huge physical experiences and recovery can take time. Some changes are temporary, some need a little help and others might become part of your new normal.
The Postpartum Changes We Expect
There are some changes we tend to hear about before having a baby. Your tummy may feel softer, you might have stretch marks, your breasts can look and feel different and even your skin can change.
Some women also experience diastasis recti, where the abdominal muscles separate during pregnancy. Recovery can take time and, for some women, getting professional advice about appropriate core exercises can be helpful.
Then there are all those hormones still doing their thing. They can affect everything from your hair to your skin, including its hydration and how it feels.
It doesn’t necessarily mean investing in lots of expensive products either. When you’re already juggling a newborn and probably functioning on far less sleep than you’d like, simple is often best. These Korean skincare tips for building a simple, effective routine are a good example of concentrating on consistency rather than having an enormous skincare routine to remember.
The Changes We Don’t Talk About As Much
This is where I think we need to be much more open.
Not every postpartum change is something you can see in the mirror. Pregnancy and childbirth can affect the pelvic floor too, and that can happen regardless of whether you give birth vaginally or by caesarean.
Pregnancy itself places pressure on the pelvic floor muscles and connective tissues, while vaginal birth can involve additional stretching and, in some cases, tearing.
Yet things like leaking when you cough, sneeze or exercise, changes in sensation or feeling different “down there” still aren’t necessarily things women feel comfortable talking about.
And they are far more common than you might think.
A 2021 study published in Scientific Reports, which followed 776 first-time mothers, found urinary incontinence and painful intercourse among the common pelvic-floor symptoms experienced one year after birth. The research also identified an association between some symptoms and the severity of perineal tearing during childbirth.
Knowing that these things can happen matters because it makes it easier to ask for help rather than quietly assuming you just have to put up with them.
Supporting Your Pelvic Floor After Having A Baby
One thing I’ve learnt over the years is that there isn’t a single postpartum recovery plan that works for every woman.
We hear a lot about pelvic floor exercises – and they can absolutely have a role – but simply doing endless Kegels isn’t necessarily the answer for everyone.
A pelvic health physiotherapist can assess how your pelvic floor is functioning and recommend exercises or treatment appropriate to your body. That’s particularly useful because pelvic floor problems aren’t always caused by muscles being too weak. Sometimes muscles can be too tight, which requires a different approach.
If you’re concerned about your recovery after having a baby, speak to your GP, midwife or another qualified healthcare professional about your symptoms and the support available.
Movement doesn’t have to mean throwing yourself back into intense workouts either. Walking, gentle strength work and gradually rebuilding your fitness can all have a place in recovery. If fitting exercise around family life feels impossible, these fitness tips for busy mums have some simple ideas for fitting movement into little pockets of your day.
What If Physiotherapy Isn’t Enough?
For many women, time, physiotherapy and appropriate exercises can make a real difference. But that doesn’t mean every woman will have exactly the same experience or recovery.
Some women continue to experience vaginal laxity, reduced sensation or other changes after childbirth, particularly following multiple vaginal deliveries.
It can be an incredibly personal subject and probably isn’t something most of us would casually bring up over coffee, but that doesn’t mean women shouldn’t be able to talk about it or ask what options are available.
For some, that may include researching procedures such as vaginoplasty, which involves surgically tightening the vaginal canal by repairing underlying muscles and tissues.
It’s important to remember that this is elective surgery rather than a quick solution to postpartum changes. As with any surgical procedure, there are potential risks, recovery considerations and no guarantee of a particular outcome.
Anyone considering this route should speak to an appropriately qualified medical professional who can explain the available options, whether surgery is appropriate and what the potential risks and benefits are.
The important thing is being able to have that conversation without embarrassment.
Rebuilding Confidence In Your Body
Body confidence after having a baby is such a personal thing.
For some women, they begin to feel like themselves again relatively quickly. For others it takes months or years. And sometimes your relationship with your body simply changes.
Social media doesn’t always help either.
Comparing your six-week, six-month or even six-year postpartum body with somebody else’s carefully chosen photograph tells you absolutely nothing useful about your own recovery.
Your body has its own history.
Rather than concentrating on getting your “old body” back, I think it is much healthier to understand what has changed and recognise when something doesn’t feel right. Sometimes that means giving yourself more time. Sometimes it means getting professional support. And sometimes it simply means accepting that your body has changed because your life has changed too.
Giving Your Body Time To Recover
There are so many postpartum body changes that we simply don’t talk about enough. Stretch marks and a softer tummy might be visible, but pelvic floor problems, vaginal changes, discomfort and changes in confidence can be much easier to hide.
None of us should feel embarrassed about asking questions about our own bodies.
Whether support comes from your GP, a pelvic health physiotherapist or another appropriately qualified specialist, having reliable information means you can make decisions based on what is right for you rather than assuming you just have to live with something that is bothering you.
Most importantly, there is no deadline for feeling like yourself again after having a baby. Recovery isn’t a race and looking after yourself matters too.
If you’re looking for more realistic family, wellbeing and everyday-life inspiration, you’ll find plenty more in the Lifestyle section on MummyConstant.
