I literally do not know what to do with myself this week. It all exploded on Saturday morning and things have been a rocky roller-coaster ever since. Noah, my 6 year old, has been on and off stroppy for a few months now. Nothing too major, throwing arms around when he doesn’t get his own way. Sometimes shouting at me, hitting his sister (same old there). But, something progressed at the weekend and I would really love to know WHY!
The bad behaviour can be broken down into three episodes over the past five days, the moments in-between he has been OK. Or, not quite so bad. I literally cried Friday night, Saturday lunchtime and very nearly on my way into work on Monday morning. Please tell me I am not the only parent with troubles like this?
I simply asked Noah a question at bedtime and his response was to shout at me. I can’t even remember now what the question was, it was that insignificant. Now I think this was spurred on because he couldn’t have his tablet, I had taken it off of them as they had had 30 minutes on it. After dinner I wanted them to play for a bit with their millions of toys, or something like that. Noah had other ideas. So when it got to bedtime, after the tantrums that occurred earlier, I had rudeness shouted at me and “No’s” thrown at me. He was storming around the bedroom, throwing things around. He was being horrid. I tried to remain calm, but the more energy I used up trying to stay calm the worse I felt.
Daddy coaches Noah’s football team now, so Daddy has to concentrate at football. Thankfully there was another adult there on Saturday morning as Noah started again, with similar behaviour to what I saw last night. But this time he was pushing other boys over, kicking their balls away from them and running off in a tantrum to an unsafe location. Not only could Daddy not deal with it as he was in the middle of coaching a session, but Daddy was trying to concentrate. The other adult had to coax Noah back to the game and calm him down. It didn’t last long, he basically carried on being rude and aggressive which eventually led to him sitting on the sidelines and missing football later in the week. We spent the next few hours trying to reason with him, calm him down and get him back to normal Noah. It took a lot of energy.
He obviously woke up on the wrong side of bed that morning, he was in a foul mood. He wouldn’t get ready, shouted for his breakfast and then shouted when it was “wrong”. He had a face up on him that looked like thunder. It was horrendous. Nanny went to walk them to school and he stormed off, which was unsafe and stressful for Nanny. It’s just not on! This was all because he couldn’t wear his shorts, as they were wet!
I would love to understand why he flips out like this, it really upsets me. Partly because I find the behaviour frustrating, I get frustrated and I just don’t understand why? I want to help him. I want him to stop flipping out and throwing things around, shouting and being rude. When he’s “good Noah” he is such a beautiful boy, he is generous and kind. He can go from that “good Noah” to “naughty Noah” with a flick of a switch. A lot has gone through my mind: he’s tired, he’s hot and bothered, he’s hormonal! I just don’t know.
We have introduced a points chart, similar to the sticker chart. I am hoping it will help encourage good behaviour and his competitive streak will kick in and he’ll behave. So far so good, in the mornings both kiddies are up and dressed immediately for their 5 points! So I went to work less stressed on Tuesday, fingers crossed it carries on changing and getting better. Maybe not going to football last night will have made him think too.
I must remember “stand by my threats“.
Watch this space!